Changing the Habit of a Lifetime
by Graveygraves
Summary: Derek is helped to realise he needs to change his ways if he is get what his heart desires. The problem is; is he really ready to accept the truth! Beta'd   thank you so much Flashpenguin, but views always appreciated. Written for CCOAC challenge.
1. Partners in Crime

**Changing the Habit of a Lifetime**

**Disclaimer – I own nothing but the idea.**

**This is my entry for the CCOAC New Year Resolution challenge. I picked Derek Morgan with the resolution: To become a one-woman man. I was assigned Emily Prentiss.**

**Sorry this has taken so long but after the first chapter my muse ran away and hid, even chocolate couldn't tempt it back out; however the story is now complete, but still going through editing. I will warn you now you may not be happy where this ends – but there will be a sequel. I promise.**

**Lastly I have a dragged a third character in on this – hope you don't mind. **

**Here goes . . .**

**. . .**

As if the initial pain on the right hand side of her jaw wasn't enough, the blunt force of slamming into the rough brick wall beside her was near enough to make her pass out. Gritting her teeth, Emily ducked in time to avoid another fistful of agony, instead causing the UnSub to break his knuckles on the same wall she had just collided with. If his scream wasn't a sure sign of the fracture then the crack that echoed around the empty building was.

As he recoiled in shock, Emily took her chance, making sure her knee located firmly into his groin. Now he was down she could complete the tasks she had started and arrest the son of a bitch.

Cuffed and mumbling obscenities, the largest of the pair the team had been tracking down knelt, still doubled over, on the cold concrete floor. Emily had to smile, even if it sent a shock of pain along her jaw; what he was experiencing now served him right for what he had done to the victims over the prior three months.

Though, Emily pondered, next time she and Morgan decided they could tackle the criminals before back up arrived she was sure she would make a better assessment of who she was chasing. Rubbing her jaw, she spoke into the communication system.

"I have him Morgan, how you doing?"

Silence.

_Shit_, Emily hissed to herself. Looking down at the immobilised UnSub she contacted Hotch.

"Hotch, we're in and I have Davis, but Morgan has gone quiet. I have secured Davies in the back office of the first floor. I'm going to find Morgan; what's your ETA?"

"I thought I made it clear you were to wait!" the curt reply came.

Emily cringed, sounded like another dressing down was on the way.

"All respect Hotch, we didn't have the time to wait. I am going to find Morgan, he went after Collins. This could be our only chance to find Dorothy Franks."

Hotch registered the edge of desperation in her voice and the sound of her steps on the hard floor, he knew she was on the move as she spoke. No matter how he felt about what they had done an argument was futile.

"We'll be there in ten, I urge you to hold back and wait."

"I'll keep the Coms open; you'll know what's happening that way," Emily offered back.

Hotch's silence was the only indication of his agreement in the situation.

Emily made her way back towards the point she had last seen Morgan. Moving lightly on the balls of her feet, gun drawn, she cleared each area as she retraced her steps along the dingy walls. The deserted office block definitely lent itself to being a hideout paradise, packed with dark corners and crevices. Reaching the flight of stairs that had been the point they split, Emily tentatively made her way cautiously up to the second floor, stairs always made her feel vulnerable.

Entering the long narrow corridor, she begun to clear offices along the way; the tell tale signs of Morgan proceeding her evident on a couple of the doors' locks. At least she knew she was on the right floor and wouldn't have to go back and start again on the next level.

"We're here," she heard through her earpiece.

"Second floor," she confirmed in a whisper to Hotch's update, her heart beating rapidly as she neared the end of the gloomy passage.

Facing a final battered greying door, Emily pushed it open with her toe, announcing her arrival as she entered.

"FBI . . ."

But before she could complete the sentence she was interrupted.

"It's ok Em, it's me, my radio pack bust," Morgan's deep but familiar sound came from the darkness. "The bastard decided to play games."

"Just tell me you won," she replied.

Morgan was nodding as he moved forward from the shadows, rubbing his right shoulder.

"You okay?" she asked, eying the gapping cut above his right eye.

"Yeah, he got the drop on me, the kid's stronger then he looks."

Derek was now within inches of Emily, and she immediately noticed the look of concern on his face. Lifting her chin with a steady finger his eyes narrowed.

"He did that to you?" he hissed.

"Guess you weren't the only one to have some fun," Emily made a feeble attempt at pulling out of Derek's hold. "Think it will make Hotch go easy on us?"

"No," came the curt answer from the doorway, as Hotch and Rossi entered the room. "Your actions were irresponsible, but here and now is not the time for that debate."

Hotch was making his way over to a dazed and confused looking teenager in the corner; the scowl on his face a clear indication of the hell to come.

Emily and Derek shared a look that spoke volumes, before glancing at Rossi who just shrugged as a smile crept across his lips. Quickly Morgan dropped his hand that still tenderly held Emily's face.

. . .

Emily and Derek stood in front of the cheap MDF desk in the cramped office Hotch had been using during the case. Neither of them bothered to sit, as it wouldn't make the moment any more comfortable.

Hotch continued to complete the paperwork in front of him. He was more than aware of the additional company; after all he had insisted that they join him once he had completed debriefing the team and they had been to the hospital for a check. Both had initially refused, satisfied with the paramedics patching them up at the scene, but he had made it clear that it wasn't an optional extra.

Hotch glanced up and held out a hand, waiting for the paperwork from the hospital to file with his regarding the incident. Catching Derek's eyes, Emily rolled hers, causing Derek to barely contain a snigger. They had both been here before, in fact most times they had been here together, and he kind of guessed they would be again.

Hotch shot them both a glare, declaring silently that he had lost none of his bite from earlier.

"I glad you find something amusing in this Morgan, because I can assure you that now I have completed the additional paperwork you two have jointly created for me, my sense of humour is waning."

Emily literally bit her tongue, desperate to ask when his sense of humour wasn't waning.

Squirming slightly Derek guessed the gist of the thought she was having and turned away slightly, determined not to smile.

"I am running out of ways to explain to you two that you cannot ignore warnings and carry on regardless. I could easily have lost two agents today, yet again."

Morgan decided that Hotch's tone of voice directly matched that of his High School principle, as he was suddenly flooded with memories of being hauled into his office for a 'chat'.

"Sir," Emily spoke up, waking Derek from his thoughts, "we needed to nail these two. They were the only possible way we had of locating Dorothy Franks. We needed them, if we'd let them go she would have died."

Derek's eyebrows rose, there were times he really wondered who had the balls out of the two of them. He sure as hell knew when to keep quiet. It had taken him a while to learn his lesson, but there was definitely a way to approach Hotch.

"The only redeeming factor in all of this is that it led us to her," Hotch snapped at Emily insolence.

All of them knew that the case had not been text book, far from it.

Standing there Derek respected Hotch's protective streak, he could totally relate to that. He had felt the same when he had seen Emily's bruised and cut face, however he also empathised with her relentless drive; and when the adrenaline wore off he knew they would be there for each other.

If they both survived their chat with Hotch, of course.


	2. Resolution

**Change the Habit of a Lifetime**

**Disclaimer – I own nothing but the idea.**

**This is my entry for the CCOAC New Year Resolution challenge. I picked Derek Morgan with the resolution: To become a one-woman man. I was assigned Emily Prentiss.**

. . .

Sat in the corner of the jet, his headphones covering his ears, Derek Morgan knew he was staring. Yet he was unable to stop himself. Now that the combination of adrenaline and codine were wearing off his mind starting to race.

Watching Emily as she slept Derek reviewed what had happened earlier. Hotch's words, as they often did, hit home harder the longer he was given to stew. Maybe they had been a little reckless, hell they had been a lot reckless, but they had both paid the price for that. He had stitches above his eyebrow and the pain in his shoulder was returning rapidly. One side of Emily's face was now various shades of bluish-purple with definite swelling around the eye. There was no trace of the blood from her mouth, but her lower lip was twice it's normal size.

Suddenly Morgan became aware of movement opposite, flicking his eyes back to the now occupied seat to see who was disturbing his solitude. Meeting David Rossi's smiling face, Derek inwardly cringed – _what did he want?_

David sat silently, propping his head up on one hand, index finger extended along the side of his face. With his other hand he pushed forward a glass of scotch from the two he had brought over.

Sighing Derek tugged his headphones off, he threw them half heartedly on the table.

"What?" he asked gruffly.

Dave smirked, and gave a slight shrug of his shoulders; "Guess I'm just trying to figure something out."

"Really," Derek added drily.

"U-huh, you see I am a bit confused," Dave leant forward, "and I think you might be the man to help me."

Derek's eyes narrowed, he wasn't in the mood for Rossi's guessing games.

Dave pursed his lips, noting the lack of response from his younger colleague.

"I have a couple of friends and I think they need a little shove in the right direction, but I am fairly sure neither will accept my help," he continued smoothly after a sip of Scotch.

"Well in that case I would leave well along, nothing worse than having someone sticking their nose in where it's not wanted," nothing vailing the warning in his words.

"Mmmm," Dave nodded, drawing in a slow breath, "the thing is, I've sat back on this for a long time, and I no longer think I can."

Derek settled back, he knew how Rossi worked, one of the two people Dave was referring to was him. Now he just had to work out who the other was and what he was assuming. Though in the back of his mind Derek knew what and who; he just wasn't ready to admit it to himself so he wasn't going to admit it to Rossi.

Dave watch Derek's cool mask of disinterest. He knew neither Emily or Derek took to people interfering, but if they didn't soon figure out what was best for them he swore he was going to lock them in a room until nature took its due course.

Shaking his head softly, Derek rested his elbows on the flat surface between them. He'd surrender.

"Are you the 'Good Cop' to Hotch's 'Bad Cop'? Coz I'll be honest I heard the message loud and clear earlier."

Dave smile widened. Derek couldn't be further from the mark. Truth be known Hotch would haul Dave over the coals if he found what he was doing. Though Dave had never been one to respect protocol and rules, they made life boring.

"Hardly, I would have done what you did today. In my opinion it was a good call."

"So what? I'm guessing it has something to do with me."

Dave nodded taking another sip of the drink.

Morgan followed suit, the look on Dave's face made him feel like he may appreciate the alcohol.

Dave deliberately leant forward, keeping direct eye contact with his younger colleague.

"Well to put no finer point on it, you and Prentiss, when are you going to get it together?"

Derek near choked on the mouthful of scotch he had been savouring. Blinking rapidly he started to shake his head.

"Rossi, I don't know how many of those you had before you came over here," Derek indicated the near empty glass in his hand, "but I suggest you make that your last."

Dave chuckled at his friend's disallousion, maybe Emily would have been easier.

"It's New Year's Eve, come on even Aaron has taken his tie off for the flight home. Though I can assure you this is only my second so it's not the drink talking."

Derek settled back once more, suddenly aware how the older profiler had drawn him in. Eying his suspiciously Derek waited.

"So do I get an answer?"

"No," Derek replied flatly.

"NO! I'm disappointed, but at least that leaves the playing field clear for me," Dave tauted, moving as if to stand. Imediately he felt the strong hand clamp onto his arm, haulting his movement.

As Dave dropped back into the soft leather seat, the Cheshire Cat grin let Derek know he had been played. His scowl didn't soften, just the reason for it changed.

"Ah," Dave soothed, " So actions do speak louder then words."

"What does that mean?" Derek growled, scanning the jet to see if they were drawing any attention.

"It means you can sit there and deny how you feel about Emily all the way back to Quantico," Dave hissed leaning into the younger man's space, "But you have just proved me right. You love her, face it."

Derek huffed; there was no way he was admitting to anything.

Shifting in the cream seat, Dave steadied himself as he levelled Derek's glare.

"Here's the deal, Stud," he spat out the last word, "It's New Year's Eve, a traditional time for new beginnings. How about you make yourself a promise and change your ways. Make this year the year to become a one-woman man."

Derek shook his head and laughed.

"Really, coming from the most natourious philanderer in the FBI. What would you know about being a one –woman man?"

"Well I have managed it, three times in fact," Dave teased, "and Romeo, I'm offering you my help."

Even Derek had to smile at that as he watched the older profiler stand to leave.

"Think about it," Dave added as he walked away.

"Think about what?" Emily asked as she passed Dave to sit next to Derek a glass in hand.

"Nothing," Derek muttered, raising his glass to hers, "Happy New Year."


	3. Coffee Pot

**Change the Habit of a Lifetime**

**Disclaimer – I own nothing but the idea.**

**This is my entry for the CCOAC New Year Resolution challenge. I picked Derek Morgan with the resolution: To become a one-woman man. I was assigned Emily Prentiss.**

**This chapter was due to be posted on Friday before I went away for the weekend. However FanFiction had other ideas and wouldn't let me log on. I am so sorry next chapter will be a lot quicker (IT problems aside).  
><strong>

. . .

Sat on the soft couch watching the nameless movie on the large plasma screen Emily laughed out loud.

"What?" Derek chuckled knowing exactly what she was giggling at, as he turned to face her.

"Come on that is not how it happens and we both know it," Emily spun to face him, her hands animated each word she spoke, "First of all if you tried to break down a door like that you would put your shoulder out, you have to hit the locking point, and on that door it is below shoulder height. Second they have rushed in and started clearing rooms after they have passed two closed doors. The UnSub could be anywhere; they could be dead by now. If we did it like that Hotch would shot us himself."

Derek shook his head, wondering why he watched stuff like this with Em, she always picked fault in it. Of course she was right, but that wasn't the point – fiction is fiction, though it was hardly light relief after the case they had just had. He guessed he just liked seeing the good guys always win, at least that's what happened in the movies.

"How about we find something else?" Derek started to reach forward for the remote.

"Nah," she swotted his hand lightly, before tucking her legs up under her, "I need to know if they get him now."

"No, they both get shot in the back by the UnSub hidden in the closet that they missed."

Emily glared at him.

"Just kidding," he said holding his palms up in submission, "You take some things way too seriously."

"Really and you don't?"

"No, you know me, totally chilled."

"Yeah, so laid back you're horizontal," she snorted, giving him a jab in the ribs.

"Hey lay off, I'm injured," a puppy dog look on his face.

Emily rolled her eyes; "You and me both."

"Does it ever make you think we should be a bit more careful?" Derek spoke before the thought.

"Whoa," Emily's eyes searched his, "Did Hotch pay you extra to say that?"

Derek shook his head and smiled, pausing to take a sip of his cool beer before he continued.

"I don't like seeing you get hurt," he said solemnly.

"Well that makes two of us, as I none too keen on the pain either;" Emily rested a hand softly on his arm, "and for the record I prefer it when we all end the case in one piece."

. . .

Shutting the door behind her, Derek sighed as he rested his forehead on the hard warm wood. Everyone always assumed he and Garcia had 'a thing'. The overt flirting, the pet names and general hands on nature of their friendship were easily misinterpreted. She was undoubtedly his best friend, the one person he could tell everything, well nearly everything. He hadn't told her the one thing that kept him awake at night, and featured in every dream he had once he found sleep.

Emily Prentiss.

He hadn't told Penelope as he hadn't been willing to admit it to himself. Not until the flight home and David Rossi had confronted him with the truth. Prior to that flight, a couple of days ago, he had lived in happy ignorance, but now how he felt about her was all he could think of.

The thoughts were different now, weighing up the pros and cons of taking Dave up on his offer. It wasn't that Derek couldn't get any woman he wanted. It was more that Emily wasn't any woman, and he wasn't even convinced she felt the same way. Hands up she was out of his league, and he was happy to admit that.

Rubbing his hands over his head as he made his way back through to the lounge, Derek sighed even more deeply then the last time.

Dropping onto the couch he grabbed what remained of his now warm beer, and swigged it back. Clooney jumped up next to him and looked longingly at him, his head on one side. Derek rubbed the mutt's ear affectionately.

"Yeah I know boy, but what do I do?"

. . .

Calling into the kitchen area, Derek decided an extra coffee was necessary, before he made his way to his office to face the pile of files and folders that awaited his return.

"Ah, just the man," came Dave's jolly tones.

Derek paused, realising turning and running was not an option. So instead he headed straight to the cupboard and grabbed a FBI issue mug.

Dave waited patiently, leaning back against the counter.

"It's a fresh pot, and I do believe that have treated us to a new more bearable brand, though nothing beats a rich Italian."

"Is that a euphemism or something?" Derek cringed.

"No, but now I think about it, there is a definite life rule in there," Dave pushed off from the worktop and poured the coffee into Derek's mug, "So have you thought anymore of my offer over the weekend?"

Derek shook his head, not because he hadn't thought about it, but because he wasn't willing to talk about it.

"That's a shame; I thought it was a fair deal."

"Okay my Bad Boys, what are you up to?" came Garcia's singsong voice from behind them.

As the two men turned in the direction of her dulcet tones, then came face to face with the girls of the BAU. A garish Garcia in the forefront with JJ and Emily a step behind, arms folded.

"This isn't another prank on Reid is it?" JJ asked suspiciously.

"Will you boys just give it up," Emily rolled her before reaching for a mug from the cupboard behind Derek.

As she did, Derek breathed in the familiar scent of her perfume, he only hoped the effect it had on him was not evident to all.

"So," she stretched across Derek for the pot, sharing the remains between the three mugs she had got down, "What are you two up to? First you have secret conversations on the plane and not we catch you huddled over the coffee machine, what gives?"

Derek inwardly cringed, schooling his face, he hoped, to a practiced blank. He would pay Rossi back for this sometime soon.

Dave meanwhile was enjoying the game. Shrugging he stepped forward, making to leave the room and Derek at the mercy of the three women.

"I simply offered to help a friend with his New Year resolution."

That one sentence ended with three sets of eyes piercing through Derek Morgan as he followed in the wake of Rossi, taking flight while he had the chance.


	4. The Truth

**Change the Habit of a Lifetime**

**Disclaimer – I own nothing but the idea.**

**This is my entry for the CCOAC New Year Resolution challenge. I picked Derek Morgan with the resolution: To become a one-woman man. I was assigned Emily Prentiss.**

**There is one more chapter after this, then I will be working a sequel to this.  
><strong>

. . .

Derek spent the rest of the day trying to avoid his colleagues, especially the females of the team. It was a rare moment, like this one, that he was immensely grateful that he had his own office. Most days he missed the hub-bub of sharing space in the bullpen with the others, but right now solitude was preferable. Spending his day teasing the others was one thing he had enjoyed about life in the shared space, facing the same was totally different. Added to that that he was afraid that something might give. After all if Rossi had spotted how Derek felt, how long before someone else did? That was the problem of working with a team of highly trained profilers who were excellent at their job. You could ban inter-team profiling, but it was the nature - a natural instinct.

Alternatively he was just waiting for the opportunity to have ten minutes of David Rossi's time, without any witnesses! He was still fuming with the older profiler's little 'slip' that morning. Rossi had known what he was doing, adding that little bit of pressure, making the situation semi-public. Derek's fist balled as he swallowed his anger, that was not the way to deal with Rossi. He had to be calm and prepared when he faced that one.

Shuffling the contents of the last file together, Derek sighed as he glanced at his heavy watch. If he timed it right he could deliver these to Hotch and pay Agent Rossi a visit. Then if he had any luck most of the others would have left and he could escape without any further questioning.

Scooping up the pile of manila files in one arm, Derek made his way along the walk way to Hotch's office.

A quick rap of his knuckles upon the door was answered with a blunt greeting. Entering Derek hovered as he waited for Hotch to acknowledge his presence.

Capping his pen and putting it down at the head of his pile of paperwork, Hotch looked up.

Derek handed over the collection of files, "All done."

Momentarily Hotch's stoic expression slipped as he looked surprised before adding drily, "There's a first time for everything."

Morgan's head shook as it dropped, trying to disguise the smile. Hotch had a point, it wasn't often Morgan was the first to hand in a completed set of reports. Hell it was rare he wasn't the _last_ to hand in a complete set of reports. In fact the only person who was came close to his personal report record was Emily, and he swore she did it delibrately somedays just to save him another lecture.

"Anything else?" Hotch asked a little impatiently.

"Nope," Morgan added, before turning to leave. Deciding it was best to make a move then face any of the residual anger Hotch had, which by the look of thinges there was plenty still hanging around.

Striding to the next nondescript door along the walk way, Derek knocked and waited. Soon he was called in and sat facing David Rossi.

Dave sat with his hands in front of him, fingertips touching, as he studied the younger man sat opposite him.

"Well . . ." Dave finally drawled, barely hiding the smirk tugging at the corners of his lips.

Derek festered for a moment longer, before he spoke. He had to play this right or it would snowball out of control.

"I'm not here for your help if that's what you're angling at," Derek spoke calmly.

Dave lifted an eyebrow as he released his full smirk, "What are you so afraid of Derek? You kick down doors not knowing what you will face on the other side. You are the fittest member of this team and use that chase down UnSubs so others don't have to. You put your life on the line for any of the team. So what scares you so much about Emily Prentiss?"

A snarl curled the corner of Derek's mouth as he bit back the first words that came to mind. He had to play this carefully if he wasn't going to let Rossi trip him up.

"I'm not scared of Emily Prentiss," he stated flatly, "I just don't need your help."

"Now that I disagree with, not because I have any doubt in your powers to seduce any woman you put your mind to. That you don't need help with; hell I've learnt a thing or two watching you in action. However you do need help to face the fact that this is what you actually want."

"You don't know me and what I want," the anger that had seethed below Derek's surface started to bubble.

"If I was wrong about this you wouldn't be half as angry as you are. Face it, Derek, I'm hitting a little close to home on this and you don't like it."

The growl that resonated from Derek was answer enough.

Dave leant forward, his elbows and forearms resting on the solid wood desk, as he interlaced his fingers.

"If it isn't Emily, per say, which scares you, then it must be the concept of monogamy. Commitment phobia, at it's worse."

Derek huffed, "Look who is talking, have you taken note of your track record?"

"Yeah, and I'm not proud of it. I've made mistakes, I can see that now, and I have to live with that. Why don't you learn from an old man's follies? Don't end up bitter, regretful and lonely," Dave said with complete honesty and a hint of sadness to his words.

Derek hissed out the breath he was subconsciously holding.

"So what I take a look at you, and decide that sleeping with my partner is gonna make me a happy man?"

Dave shook his head, hoping Derek hadn't completely missed the point. Surely they both knew this was nothing to do with casual sex and all to do with finding 'The One'.

"Good, because have you stopped to think about the consequences of such an action," Derek continued, "I know the fraternisation rules kind of passed you over, but they are there for a reason. The impact a relationship can have on you working together is immense. It's why it doesn't happen."

"So are two people trying desperately hard to ignore how they feel. That's a dangerous thing," Dave counter argued.

"Are you saying that Emily and I are not professional?"

"You're professional, too much so; but you can't totally mask how you feel. I saw you Derek, I watched you nearly fall apart when we lost her, and I saw you battle to accept her back. The past few months have been a rollercoster for us all, whatever side of the fense we sat on during all the events. You may have tried hard to convince us all you were fine. Yes you were there for Pen everystep of the way, helping her helped you. But don't think that we didn't notice the sideways glance at her photo everytime you walked past it, or the dullness in your eyes, or the blood on you knuckles where you took it all out on the gym. trust me Derek we saw your pain. Please don't lose her again," Dave urged.

Derek stood, not willing to listen to this anymore.

"The offer still stands when you come to your senses," Dave called as he left.

. . .

Stomping back into his dark office Derek stopped dead in his tracks. As his eyes adjusted to the dull interior, he blinked.

"You really didn't think you could avoid me all day did you?" Emily asked, a jovial tone to her voice, "So are you going to willingly tell me what is going on or do I have to force you?"

Derek sighed, making his way over to his desk and grabbing things. He knew he couldn't ignore her, but it was worth a try. Though this was the last thing he wanted right now.

"Derek!" Emily's voice stern, as she placed her hands flat on the hard surface of his desk.

His shoulders dropped as he looked up at her, as she settled back and sat crossed legged in his soft leather chair.

"Fancy a drink?" he offered, to buy himself some time. After all what was he going to tell her? That he had been crushing on her since day one, that he was in love with her and didn't want to risk losing her again. Looking down to hide the emotions in his eyes he waited for an answer.

Emily nodded, her eyes narrowed, realising that Derek was hiding something, "but on the condition that you let me in on your resolution."

Derek's mouth opened then shut again, as he looked up at her, resistance was futile. He didn't have to tell her the whole truth, not until he'd worked outwhat the truth was for himself, _did he?_


	5. So Much Unsaid

**Change the Habit of a Lifetime**

**Disclaimer – I own nothing but the idea.**

**This is my entry for the CCOAC New Year Resolution challenge. I picked Derek Morgan with the resolution: To become a one-woman man. I was assigned Emily Prentiss.**

**Okay don't shoot me for where I am leaving this one - I did warn you at the beginning! Maybe it will help if you know the sequel is already being planned so should be underway soon.  
><strong>

. . .

Settled in the cosy corner booth, Emily waited for Derek to return with two cool beers. She was intrigued as to what the great secret was. At lunch it had caused much speculation among herself, JJ and Pen. The conversation between them ending with Garcia declaring that, she couldn't think of a single vice that Derek should give up, in her opinion.

Though Emily had assumed Rossi had managed to add drama to something very simple. Her guess had been him teasing Derek about getting his reports in late. Hopefully not, as she liked having someone else Hotch still needed to chase after he had finished bothering her.

Derek squeezed in next to Emily, passing her a cold bottle. Taking a swig, he started to fiddle with the corner of the label that had lifted.

"So the deal was you spill on the great New Year resolution secret," Emily smiled sweetly as she reminded him of what they had previously 'agreed'.

Derek sighed, not meeting her eyes as he continued to pick at the label, trying hard to get it off in one piece.

"It's nothing really," he mumbled, barely audible above the background music.

"Good, because I was worried then that I was going to be in for a rough ride with Hotch; when I became the last person to hand in my paperwork instead of you."

Derek finally looked up from the bottle label and shot her a confused look.

Emily laughed, "My bet was that your resolution was to get your paperwork on time and I was convinced from today's evidence that you were sticking to it. That is the quickest I've ever seen you get finished. To be honest I don't mind losing the money if I still have a fall guy."

Derek runs his hand over his head, letting out a sigh as he realised she was not going to let this rest; "It's not actually work related, well not directly."

It was Emily's turn to look confused. Eyes narrowing, she moved closer, determined to find out what was going on.

"Spill or I will release my secret weapon," she threatened, now hooked on getting the information.

"You're secret weapon?" Derek questioned, taking another gulp of his chilled beer, dying to know what she was about do to him.

"Penelope Garcia," Emily paused to let the concept sink in, "she lost the toss as to who got to interrogate you. Hence 'Yours Truly' is here. If I don't get the goods, she will be waiting for you first thing tomorrow morning. Just picture her perched on the edge of your desk; you know she won't give in until fully satisfied!"

Seeing Emily pointing to herself in such an animated way, before she went on to describe Garcia, had made Derek smile. That soft casual genuine smile that lit his face different to any of the other charming grins he dealt.

"So, neither of us are leaving here until I have the full story. I do have to report back my findings before the morning," Emily added before sipping at her beer and giving him another chance to come clean.

Derek groaned as he realised he was centre of attention for the team's gossip run and there was no easy escape. Sucking in a huge breath of air, he exhaled slowing, resuming picking at the label.

"I am becoming a one-woman man," he said in a rush of words, focusing on the final edge of the label, not the woman who was the cause of the resolution.

Slowly Emily placed her bottle back on the table, unable to take the sip she was about to. Open mouthed she sat and stared uncontrollably. Emily was so glad that he was not looking at her, she had no wish for him to see the rush of emotions she was failing to hide.

Derek Morgan was to give up his player lifestyle . . . but for whom?

Standing, Emily made her way to the bar; she was in need of a stiff drink. The shock not beginning something her mind could except.

Waiting at the bar her mind raced. She had long given up any chance of her and Morgan being anything other than his friend and partner. Yet there had always been niggling hope that one day things would be different. Obviously not now. No-one in the team was aware that he had found someone special. How had they not known? Standing, leaning against the bar for support, Emily let the news sink in, slowly.

Returning to the table a few minutes later, she placed two glasses on the table. Grateful for the dull environment they were in.

"Jack and Coke" she said confidently, her emotionless mask back in place and her composure regained. She wasn't going to let him see that what she was about to ask was breaking her heart in two.

"So," Emily settled back as casually as she could muster, "Who's the lucky girl? She really must be something special to tame you."

Derek's head dropped again, as he pulled the fresh drink towards him across the smooth table surface. Turning the glass slowly in his fingertips, he watched the liquid sway around the sides as he contemplated his next words.

"She is special," he finally settled for, speaking without a single glance in Emily's direction, "She is unlike anyone I have met before. I've known her for years, but never realised how important she was until I thought I had lost her. I had taken her for granted, because she was always there for me. I trust her and know she would do absolutely anything for me, without me having to ask. So yeah, she's special."

Emily sat wide-eyed, she knew she had missed several months of Derek's life, but how had she missed this. Swallowing a gulp from the tumbler in her hand, Emily schooled her expression once more.

"Why do I sense a 'but' here?" she managed, hoping the tone sounded more convincing in real life than it did in her head.

Derek smiled; she could read him like a book. Setting his focus on the bright lights behind the bar, anything but let her see what he was feeling right now, he spoke again.

"But," he begun, turning to face Emily, looking her directly in the eye, "she has no idea how I feel."

Emily swallowed, shifting under Derek's intense gaze, her eyes flitting nervously round the near empty bar. She had only ever felt this uncomfortable with Derek once before, and then he had been drilling her about what was wrong while Doyle was tracking her down.

"What's stopping you telling her?" she swallowed hard, losing herself in his deep brown eyes.

"It's complicated; there are others to think about. This doesn't just affect us," Derek said sadly, "It could have such an impact on the family."

Emily looked down, was he saying that the love of his life was a married woman. Is that what he meant by loving her and losing her? She had married another. There was no way Derek would break up a family, that she knew.

"What do you want me to tell the others?" she asked, knowing Derek would not want all of this out in the open.

Derek shrugged and finished the drink, "Tel them what you want."

Derek stood silently. Leaving Emily sat lonely in the booth he left with his shoulders slumped. Realising he had totally screwed up the chance that had been handed to him on a plate.

Emily stayed where she was, watching him go.

. . .

Derek got to his SUV and pulled out his cell, pulling up the number he wanted. He listened to it ring.

"What do you want Morgan?" came the gruff tone of David Rossi.

Derek drew in a deep breath, resting his head back against the headrest, eye closed. Pain shot through him.

"I think I need your help."

Derek could almost hear the smile on the other end of the phone.

"Good, why don't you come round."

With which the phone went dead, Derek looked down at the handset. He sure hoped this wasn't a mistake.


End file.
